sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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