On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize