So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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