you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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