you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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