Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize