If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize