I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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