I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize