And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize