She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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