I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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