i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize