Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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