if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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