After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize