I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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