Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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