just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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