where am i from again
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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