so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize