yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize