Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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