I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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