SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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