It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How does it feel to date your dad?
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