1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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