you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize