Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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