That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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