I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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