Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize