there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize