I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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