what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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