People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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