I want you more than these girls want KFC
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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