You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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