so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize