I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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