I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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