of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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