i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
NoShamevember. You game?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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