Can i not drive my cunt home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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