Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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