I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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