I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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