he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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