ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
high people should be assigned attendants
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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