You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize