so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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